A Felon Is A Felon…

Posted: February 12, 2015 in Probation
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In my adventure through the criminal justice system, I quite often run across things that are pretty silly (to say the least).

For example, a term of your probation is that you can’t associate with felons, but they force you to live with about 100 felons in a halfway house. You know, with people who have names like “Hacksaw” (that’s really someone in the halfway house I’m at).

A probation officer can give you permission to talk to a felon, so I asked for permission to talk to Justin Paperny… Who is a paid speaker for places like the Department of Justice, FBI and Pretrial Services.

Talking to Justin is not allowed because he’s a felon, but I can live with Hacksaw who smokes crack at night in the bathroom (not only allowed, it’s required that I associate with him).

The upside is that maybe I can use this to my advantage. Anytime I don’t want to do something, I’ll just say I can’t do it because there probably is a felon wherever I’m going and I’m not allowed to talk to felons (16% of the male population in the United States are felons). 🙂

Famous People At Taft

Posted: January 1, 2015 in Notable Inmates
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When I was at Taft, there seemed to be a lot a famous people there… People like Bobby Brown, Mark Anderson, Aaron Hernandez, Steven King, Steve Young, etc.

Crazy Fog

Posted: December 9, 2014 in Uncategorized
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Some crazy fog rolled in this morning when I was working out on the tree farm. That guy that failed at escaping the other day should have waited until today. *Maybe* about 10 foot visibility right now.

They are making us go back to the dorms because of the fog.

White Guy Escapes… Sorta

Posted: December 7, 2014 in Uncategorized
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So 9 people escaped walked away while I was here for 5 months. Today, the 10th person left. It was also the first person that escaped while I was here that was caught. It’s also the first guy that escaped that was a white guy.

So basically, the first time a white guy tried to walk away, he was caught. Makes white folk look bad I think. hah

Prison Pizza

Posted: December 5, 2014 in Food
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Wade (the guy in charge of the area where I work in horticulture) brought me a pizza today that he made in the microwaves here. I don’t really know how he did it, but MAN… probably the best pizza I’ve ever had anywhere in my life.

He said I was a great worker and is sad to see me go, so this was my going away present. 🙂

Seriously delicious.

T-Minus 1,000,000 Seconds

Posted: November 30, 2014 in Uncategorized
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I have 1 million seconds remaining until I walk out of here. Set your stopwatches.

Thank God I’m In Prison!

Posted: November 27, 2014 in Uncategorized
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I never thought I would wake up thankful that I’m in prison, but today that most definitely happened.

I had a dream last night that I was given a 1 day furlough for something (don’t remember exactly what it was for), but in my dream I forgot to go back to prison at the end of the day. In my dream I wake up the next day and think, “Oh crap! I forgot to go back to prison… they are never going to believe I forgot.”

So yeah, anyway… super stoked to not be a furlough escapee today. 🙂

Farmer Shawn

Posted: November 21, 2014 in Uncategorized
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Because I’m pretty awesome, Mr. Dunham gave me a certificate today… Something along the lines of, “Outstanding Excellence In Horticulture”.

Basically I’m maybe the best volunteer they ever had (I assume so anyway). lol

Either way, something to frame and put in my office when I get home.

Last Commissary Day

Posted: November 18, 2014 in Uncategorized
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Today is my last commissary day, so I’m stocking up on Diet Coke, dried apricots and popcorn so I have enough until I’m released.

They cut you off from commissary a few weeks before you’re released so they can consolidate all your money to give to you when you walk away.

Bye commissary!

Reading Certificate #3

Posted: November 17, 2014 in Uncategorized
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Just got confirmation that I can still read. Just got my third reading certificate here for finishing my 30th book.

It should look good on my resume.

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