Archive for September, 2014

Carrot Cake

Posted: September 27, 2014 in Uncategorized

My bunkmate (eBay) bought an entire carrot cake off a guy that makes them here and made me have a piece (even though I’m trying to not be fat).

First of all, I love carrot cake. It’s probably my favorite kind of cake. Secondly, it was one of the best carrot cakes I’ve ever had. Not sure where he got the ingredients to make it, because I’m pretty sure you can’t get all that stuff in commissary.

Either way, it was delicious.

Halfway Done

Posted: September 27, 2014 in Uncategorized

I’m more than halfway done here at camp now. I may or may not have bought a calculator just to calculate it.

50.3007% done here (you know… not that I’m paying attention or anything).

75 more days until everything in the universe is right again. 🙂


Posted: September 25, 2014 in Uncategorized

I was working at my boring job (evening recreation equipment check out guy), when all of a sudden about 20 people ran into my tiny little room of equipment (it’s about 10′ x 8′ maybe) and closed the door behind them.

It was really nice and cozy having everyone in there like that. hah

So I guess they saw a sandstorm coming and decided my room was the best shelter around. And sure enough, there was a hell of a sandstorm out there for awhile. Pretty much sand blasted everything around.

Lost 25 Pounds

Posted: September 18, 2014 in Uncategorized

Well, one (of many) good thing about being here, is I lost 25 pounds since I’ve been here. I was hoping to lose 25 pounds the whole time I was here, but now I guess I can lose a little more before I come back to the real world.


Posted: September 10, 2014 in Uncategorized

So, there is a little irony in this one if you know anything about why I’m here…

When I first got here, I was assigned to a crappy 3-man cube with no window, right next to the bathrooms. Hearing toilets flush all night isn’t that cool. Neither is having an extra bed in the cube.

Anyway… there is a guy here who goes by “eBay” (I guess he’s your go to if you want to buy or sell stuff). He’s in a nice 2-man bunk away from the bathrooms and with a window.

Long story short is he asked me if I wanted to be his bunkmate, so I decided to move down there.

So yeah… my bunkmate’s name is eBay (really). lol

4 People Gone

Posted: September 9, 2014 in Uncategorized

Well, 3 people were abducted by aliens last weeks, and this week 4 others went missing together. Probably word got out that the other 3 were abducted and they formed a search party to go find them.

That’s 8 people that have gone missing since I’ve been here, hopefully the 4 man search party is able to bring everyone back safely.

Head Orderly Handcuffed

Posted: September 8, 2014 in Uncategorized

The head orderly was handcuffed and taken out of our dorm today while we were watching football. Apparently he had a cell phone and he’ll be spending awhile in the SHU and probably not come back to camp when he’s done (real prison for him).

Funny how a cell phone seems like it would be worse to have than any other sort of contraband.

That’s the bad news for him… the bad news for everyone else in our dorm is that we were first place in inspection the last 2 weeks so we got free soda and popcorn (and get to eat first), so that’s probably going to come to an end since the head guy for that stuff is gone now.

3 People Abducted By Aliens

Posted: September 3, 2014 in Uncategorized

Three inmates went missing today. There are no fences here, but I’m sure everyone was properly screened to not be a “flight risk”, so my guess is that our location out in the middle of nowhere makes a perfect place for a UFO to swoop down and abduct human beings.

Wherever in the universe you guys are, may God bless your soul. And watch out for the anal probes.

Rape Whistle

Posted: September 2, 2014 in Uncategorized

I really don’t know why this makes me laugh, but it does. There is a short Mexican guy Vincent that is in the cube next to mine. I decided to walk out and check the board to see what was for lunch tomorrow and at the same time, he was going to the TV room… So basically I was following him down the walkway, and this is the “conversation” we had when he turned around and saw me behind him:

Him: Are you following me?
Me: Yes.
Him: I have a rape whistle.
Me: Okay.